Breaks My Heart :'(

For the past few days, me and Azmi decided that its about time for us to start teaching Zaara to drink both bm and fm. Because I don't know how long will I be able to provide her bm. Because there are times when the ebm I packed for her everyday its not enough. So the babysitter tried feeding her formula, but she rejected it. She would rather stay hungry rather than drinking formula. Pandai sgt ini budak. Which is why we felt that its about time. Kesian the babysitter but at the same time I felt really bad for forcing her to swallow down something she refused to drink.

We tried feeding her at night time. The first two days was a complete failure. She pushed the bottle away with her eyes closed. Eyes closed! How in the world can she even tell that we are about to feed her with a bottle. Belom lagi masuk mulut okay. So I still ended up feeding her directly. Babies nowadays, too clever! Then the third day I tried to give her formula in the evening. I pretended that I was gonna drink the milk from the bottle, *as usual, she would just give me this 'i dont care' look* because I feel like somehow she might want to immitate me and convinced her to drink the milk. I gave her the bottle, and what she did was chewing on the teat and just let the milk flow at the side of her mouth T__T. Are you trying to tell me who is the boss Zaara? We still have not given up yet. Not just yet. So we tried feeding her at night time again. This time we tried letting her suck her pacifier first, then we swapped it with the bottle. And wallaaa. Somehow it worked! It worked! She drank the formula. She even hold the bottle herself. Of course me being me, I could not help myself but to feel so emotional about it. I actually shed some tears watching her hold the bottle herself. Looking all grown up. Haihh my baby girl. Why are you growing too fast :'(. It felt just like yesterday when I can hold you with only one arm. Now, I need both of my arms to carry you. Soon were gonna have to let you go for your school camping, uni, and finally that day where we have to let you go to be with the man you love. Sobbbb. I'm so sorry Zaara, that we have to do this. I'm sorry that I could not provide you only the best. I hope one day you will understand. Forgive Mama :(

Big girl already :'(