We are now complete :)

Hello diary,

It is almost year end. End of 2015. A year that I must say very interesting and challenging. Haha. Zaara turned one. Had my second baby, Alya. Oh talking about that, I still have not blog about my second pregnancy & labour. Maybe I should do it in this post. Year review will be in the next post. If there is any. Hahaha

Anyways, I had quite a close pregnancy from the first one. Zaara was only 7 months at that time. It was totally unexpected because I was fully breastfeeding Zaara at that time, still had no period so didn't really bother to think about protection whatsoever. Confident sangat! One fine morning, planned to go to the Mamak for breakfast, that I suddenly passed out for few seconds right after I got out of the car. Azmi and my mom didnt notice anything because they went out and walked into the shop first. Well, one of the waiter noticed that I suddenly collapsed to the ground and I think he was about to help but stopped because I suddenly got up on my own. I totally blacked out, but somehow I managed to get up and walk to Azmi. And then only I managed to tell him that I just passed out. Bruised all over :'(. And my usual yield was also dropped few days before, so I assumed that I was very tired. Towards the end of the week after the passing out day I started feeling weird, gaggy and then it hit me. Ohemgee. Could it be it? Am I pregnant again? Bought the pregnancy stick, and yup. Its positive. Obviously, I cried. Because I feel like I was not ready yet, I was not ready to think that I might need to stop breastfeeding Zaara. It was hard at that time. I was really depressed. Not that I don't want the baby, I was just not ready. Everytime I think about it, I cried. Azmi had to comfort me every single time I cried but of course its not going to change anything. But eventually I started to accept the fact that I was pregnant again, I was more content and relaxed. A child is a blessing. I felt like a bad mother for feeling the way I felt knowing that I was pregnant. I am so sorry Alya :(

This time around, it was a totally different experience. Well, except for morning sickness. I still had that. Pffftttt. But the difference is, I managed to control it. The lesson I learned from my first one was never let your stomach to be empty. Throw up as much as you want, but always fill it up back again. You just need that source of energy. And because of that, I was more energetic this time around. Less vomitting. Don't have the apetite to eat, but I still force myself to. This time around I controlled my eating, I don't eat extra portion like last time, I just eat like how I normally do. Well maybe a bit more than normal. Hey, blame the pregnancy hormon okay. Haha. We pregnant women always get away with everything. The best part of being pregnant. LOL. I didn't put on so much weight this time around compared to last time. Nobody noticed that I was pregnant at the office not until I was 28 weeks pregnant. Haha. My last weight before I deliver was only 60 plus. Pengalaman mengajar kita :p

I was super active, felt healthier, wayy fit than my first pregnancy. Even until my last few days of work. Still had to drive to KL for a tender clarification in KL on my last day at work before I popped. On my last day of work, I felt weird around my waist. Felt like contraction was about to happen but I still go to work regardless because there are still work to be completed. My EDD was 21/5/15, which was a Thursday. So my maternity leave started on Monday, I just want to have a rest for few days before the baby comes. On the weekend where my leave just started (Saturday), had my breakfast (Nasi Lemak) as usual. But towards the end of my breakfast I started to feel like vommitting. I have not vommit for quite a while at that time, and furthermore I was already almost at the end of my pregnancy. How on earth can I still have morning sickness? So I thought it ended at breakfast, not really, it went on the whole day. I practically throws out everything that went in. Oh I was also having diarrhea the night before. Like what is happening to me?? Zero energy, nak look after Zaara pon tak larat. Around noon I started having contractions but it was very very mild. It went on until night time, vomit and contraction, but I still can manage. The pain in still very bearable and I know dilation is only 1-2cm because contraction was very mild compared to last time. But my mom being mom, she insist for us to still go to the hospital, atleast get myself checked because I have been vommitting non stop the whole day. And that was one of the hardest time ever because we had to leave Zaara with my mom :(

Such a long post. But if its a continuation post, I'm sure part 2 will be next year. Haha. So got myself checked in to the O&G ward, told the nurse all the details, and she checked my dilation and yup I was right. It was only 2cm. SO I thought okayla, we can go home and come back right? Atleast when the contraction is stronger? Nope, not really. They had to get me warded because I have been vommitting non stop the whole day, that I might be dehydrated. So yeah had to stay in for the night. Obviously I can't sleep, I can't stop thinking about Zaara (first time sleeping without her), and contraction got stronger. Azmi on the other side, was already snoring. Accompanied me for a good an hour and ended up sleeping. Cett. Had to go through the whole night bearing the pain, pegang jelah rail katil since Azmi already in la la land. Pfftttt. Contraction got stronger and stronger until I feel like I really cant take it anymore, it was already 5 am by that time. Called the nurse, just told her that I feel like pushing *not really*. I just cant take it just staying inside my ward and bear the pain and wait till god knows when. SO they finally pushed me to the delivery room. Got me checked, and I was already 8 cm dilated. My gynae lives nearby, she waited for Subuh prayer before attending to my delivery. I was already in the feel-like-pushing state when my gynae was on her way to the hospital. Had to tahan for a number of minutes (boleh tahan-tahan pulak), and started pushing as soon as my gynae came. Had quite number of pushes, maybe because I was already very tired, no energy, and baby's heart rate slowly decreasing and when I heard that, I gave my final push and Alhamdulillah my baby girl was brought into this world. A smaller baby than her sister, weighing at 3kg. Named her Alya Zulaikha which means tinggi budi pekerti and cantik. Alhamdulillah, Alya is a very happy and easy baby. All in all, I am indeed very grateful for these two blessings, motherhood is tiring indeed, but the happiness and satisfaction you get at the end of the day is priceless. Syukur ya Allah.

Alya Zulaikha 17/5/15 3kg